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Showing posts from April, 2015

Eating Out Picking Up The Tab

Eating out.Great food.Great something to do when there’s nothing to do, but who picks up the tab? Why is it called a tab?Is it because the waiter puts it on the table?Never mind. Restaurants should have two menus: green and red.The green menu will be for normal people. 1.Diners who tell the waiter to charge the four people at the table separately, which means four credit cards of all colours will be fished out of from bulging wallets.
2.Diners who split the tab four-ways, which is a problem if they are paying cash.Who pays the tax?Do they split the 8% or 14%?The cash situation can be a nightmare for waiters, while grown-up men and women pass around twenty and ten dollar bills, even silver.‘Mine is $12.47 because I had the ceasar salad and water,’ says the local Scrooge.
3.People who eat alone and leave obese tips.Some sole diners can be a waiter’s dream because it is less hassle.‘The usual Mr. Baker?’Always respect people with their own tables in restaurants. The red menu does not have pric…

Public Indecency on Yonge and Bloor

The subway train raised an eyebrow
When it saw the public indecency
On the southbound platform on
Yonge and Bloor
It coughed to show its disgust
The jolt forcing passengers to sandwich each
Twitter friends online
But enemies in real life
The train shrugged and limped along
Leaving the public indecency still in my arms
Which I could not stop kissing.
©Nonqaba waka Msimang
16 April 2015

No Questions Asked Restaurants

I’m thinking of investing the few resources I have in the restaurant business.How few those resources are, is private and confidential.Period.

I need partners of course, but my terms will be rather difficult to meet because they might be anti-social and violate some constitutional clauses.

Naming ceremony first.Children born in Africa are super important.They have elaborate ceremonies to give them names.

The name of the restaurant chain will be: No questions asked.No answers provided.Make that No-No for short.People who enter No-No restaurants will sign the waiver that they will not ask the following questions.

1.Can I substitute the French fries (also called chips) for a salad?
2.Are the anchovies in the Salad Ni├žoisefished in pollution-free oceans?
3.Can i have two plates because we will share a meal?
4.Do you have bottled water from the Swiss Alps?
5.Can I have the Fettuccine Alfredo without the ham and cream?
6.Is your chicken grain-fed?
7.Is your cheesecake gluten-free?
8.Can you stir-fry t…